All Charged Up

Pop quiz, hot shot! What happens when you leave your vehicle's ignition key in the accessories position all night long?

Yeah, that's right. You end up with a completely dead battery.

Question #2: How quickly can a tow truck jump start your vehicle (the one having a completely dead battery)?

Yep. Instantly.

So now you know. And knowing is half the battle.

On Turning 40

I turned 40 yesterday.

Wow. Just yesterday, I felt like I was only 40. Oh, wait, that was my birthday yesterday. Nevermind.

Wow. Just a few days ago, I felt... well... so much younger.

But, enough about me.

Though yesterday was my actual birthday, we ended up observing it on the day before, Friday 12/14. Kind of like how Washington has two birthdays, the real birthday and then the observed version so people can have a three-day weekend. And since I'd taken the day off from work, I had a three-day weekend, just like a presidential birthday, observed. Does that make me like a U.S. President?

That day went well. Slept in... always nice. Later in the morning, I accompanied my wife to our church to assist with preparations for the upcoming children's Christmas program. After that, she and I were supposed to go out to a restaurant for lunch. We stopped at my parents house to, supposedly, pick up some items for the Christmas program. But it turned out she and my parents had planned a surprise birthday party. I was genuinely surprised! And we had one of my favorite meals... lasagna. Mmmm... lasaaaaaagnaaaaaaa...

Wizards in Winter videos

And now, for your viewing pleasure, we present "Wizards in Winter" from The Lost Christmas Eve by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. Be videos below feature the song providing the soundtrack to a synchronized Christmas light display.

The original and most-famous one, designed by Carson Williams, then an electrical engineer, at his home for Christmas, 2004.



Another one, from Frisco, Texas, from Christmas, 2005.



Merry Christmas, everyone!

NORAD Tracks Santa in 3D

Once again, NORAD will be tracking Santa Claus' annual trip around the world beginning on Christmas Eve, using their high-tech Santa tracking system. Thanks to modern technology, using Google Earth you will be able to receive real-time updates, in 3D, of Santa's progress around the world, including pictures from NORAD's Santa Cam. Be sure to visit NORAD's Santa tracking web site on Christmas Eve!

Day of the Ninja

Today, December 5th, marks the international celebration known as the Day of the Ninja. Annually, since way back in 2003, people around the world use this day to celebrate ninja culture and discuss why ninjas are better than pirates.

How will you celebrate the Day of the Ninja?

I will celebrate by remember someone who, for me, was the ninja. That's right, Lee Van Cleef from the 80's classic, The Master. Don't remember The Master? Well, we here at Spike the Wave do. And as long as we live, he will not be forgotten! Arrrrrrgh!

Thanksgiving and its Aftermath

We had an enjoyable Thanksgiving Day. I hope you, gentle reader, did as well.

Dinner was hosted by my parents. Along with my family, excluding the girl (who had fled the state for the week), attending dinner there were Brother Jon's family, Sister Mary's family, and Heather and her wee bairns. And my parents were there, too, since it was their house after all.

For dinner we had turkey, hot dogs (for those who don't eat turkey), mashed taters, corn stuff, two kinds of stuffing (double the goodness), some sort of weird red gelatinous substance (my wife claimed it was something called "canned cranberry"), black olives, and gravy. Lots of gravy. Thanksgiving dinner just would not be complete without gravy. Why? Because gravy makes it better. Mmm...

But I digress.

After dinner, some of us shuffled into the family room where we watched the remainder of the annual Thanksgiving football game, at which NFL players give thanks by tackling each other. Then we watched Judge Judy scold people for being idiots. The kids played board games, with the older kids playing one board game where they followed the rules of play, and the younger ones playing another board game in which the game pieces became fascinating toys.

My wife, Sarah (with an "h"), and I celebrated Black Friday, the big day after Thanksgiving day of super-duper sales, by not shopping. Though The Doug did go out super early with his hunting friends... he was successful! Actually, I did go out later in the day for duct tape ("it can fix anything!"). And I put up the exterior Christmas lights, since walking around on the roof is one of my favorite pastimes. Then that night, we all got stomach flu. That was fun. But we're all feeling much better now. Especially now that it's snowing! (see FSOTY post)

Today is FSOTY

What is FSOTY? Well, gentle reader, it stands for First Snow Of The Year.

It is snowing today! Life is good.

We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.

30 Days Until My Doom

Today is November 15th, which means that, in exactly one month, I turn 40. Huzzah! Most people approach such milestones in their life with a sense of doom & gloom. But not me!

To help with commemorating this date, that is today, nature has kindly provided us with a cold, grey, dreary, rainy kind of day. So, while I may not feel gloomy today, I guess nature does.

But that's okay... I actually like these kinds of days. Except when my vehicle loses its traction and careens into a ditch. Then it's not so fun. But that hasn't happened for several years anyway. And I got an SUV out of it!

The only thing I dislike about the weather we're having today is that we're not expected to get any snow. I like watching the snow fall, don't you?

Today is also the beginning of deer hunting season, rifle & shotgun edition. I overhead a group of deer talking about it this morning. As with past years, they're all planning to hide in caves & garages until the hunting season ends, at which time they'll return to their favorite activity... playing chicken with vehicles moving at high speed.

They were talking on the local news this morning about how all the deer hunters are whining about how ammo costs several times more than in past years. Babies. In my day, we hunted deer with slingshots. We were lucky if we managed to merely annoy a deer. And we liked it that way!

I once used a slingshot, I think when I was in high school. Yeah, I ignored my mom's warnings and managed to shoot myself in the eye. My friends called me "slingshot eye". But it's all good. And besides, now my eye is stronger than ever! But not as strong as Steve Austin's since he was all bionic and stuff.

Yeah ever wonder what a bionic cat would be like? We've seen bionic men, women, and even a dog. But what about a bionic cat? Would it's super strength help it sleep better on the couch? Or help it be better at ignoring you when you enter the room? If one of our cats were bionic, it'd probably bust through a window trying to chase after birds or squirrels.

We have several bird feeders at our house, which provide us and our cats with a lot of entertainment. The birds, that is, not the bird feeders, which really don't do anything besides just hanging around. There was a really loud bird at one of our feeders the other day. I secretly think it was using a little bird-sized megaphone.

Wish List 2007 - 40th Anniversary Edition

Welcome, one and all, to the 40th Anniversary Edition of the Official Dave Winter Wish List & Buying Guide, brought to you by our official sponsor, Spike the Wave (blog version).

This wish list & buying guide is meant to help you, oh gentle reader, in trying to decide what to get Dave for his birthday, Christmas, or any other occasion. Nonetheless, if you choose decide to "go it on your own" and give him something more, um, "creative", that would be okay, too, as he promises to accept any gift in the spirit in which it was given. Huzzah!

This list is divided into three sections. Be sure to check back often is I will be updating this blog post through the remainder of 2007.

updated 12/25/07

Stuff I Always Like Receiving

In a hurry and just want to dash into a store and quickly grab something I would like? Then this is the list for you, baby! These are in no particular order.

• macadamia nuts (any variation, they're all good)... I also like all other kinds of nuts (though would prefer to not be given peanuts, since they're not really nuts)
• summer sausage
• my wife's homemade sausage lasagna, with pepperoni
• M & M's: preferrably their chocolate mint flavor, but they're all good
• Starbuck's pre-ground French Roast coffee
• chocolate chip cookies, more soft than crisp... walnuts make them better, but are definitely okay without them
• large chocolate milkshake from McD's (no substitutes as theirs are really the best... seriously)
• gift cards: Barnes & Noble, Best Buy, pretty much any restaurant (so I can take my wife out on a date)

Stuff I Want

If you love me, or just planned ahead, then this list is for you. These are in no particular order.

• contact lenses (I really miss poking my eyes each morning)
• Dilbert books
• Positive Attitude
• Try Rebooting Yourself
• Cubes and Punishment
• Dilbert's Guide to the Rest of Your Life
• What Would Wally Do?
• movies on DVD:
• Ratatouille
• Shrek the Third (widescreen edition)
• Live Free or Die Hard - Unrated (2-Disc Special Edition)
• Pirates of the Caribbean - The Curse of the Black Pearl (3-Disc Special Edition, though 2-Disc Collector's Edition would be okay)
• Pirates of the Caribbean - Dead Man's Chest (2-Disc Collector's Edition)
• Pirates of the Caribbean - At World's End (2-Disc Collector's Edition)
• Dilbert TV series on DVD: $29 at Amazon.com
• flash memory card - only the memory stick duo pro (any brand, at least 1 GB): usually $30 and up but will likely be on sale
• Sledge Hammer! TV series, both seasons, on DVD: $20 and $27 at Amazon.com
• music CDs:
• Loreena McKennitt: Nights from the Alhambra (2 CD + DVD edition), or An Ancient Muse
• Mannheim Steamroller: Christmas Live, Christmas Song (just released), or Fresh Aire 8
• convince Outback Steakhouse and Fazoli's to both setup restaurants in Holland
• magazine subscriptions: Christian Research Journal, CPU, and/or Linux Format (from the UK)
• Viore portable HDTV tuner for PCs: $55 at eCost.com
• PS2 video game 24: The Game (based on the TV show 24): $15
• snow globe (a nice one)

Stuff I Want Big-Spender Version

If you really love me, or just have way too much money, then this list is for you. Yeah! This list is in order, with most-desired items on top.

• SanDisk TakeTV, either 4GB ($100) or 8GB ($150) version (8 GB version preferred, but 4 GB version would be okay)
• Nokia N810 Internet Tablet: $450 (the older N800 model at $250 would be okay, too)
• Neuros OSD ($230) and/or Neuros Recorder 2 Plus ($140)
• DVD recorder with VCR and TV tuner ($200-ish) be sure to get a warranty extension/service plan (link is to an example)
• Sony PS3: $400 or more (depending on storage capacity)
• Nintendo Wii: $250

Remember to revisit this blog entry often, as I will be updating it continually through 2007. There will be a direct link to this post on the side of the blog site's main page.

And remember to "be excellent to each other". (from Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure)

Don't Park in my Spot

Don't you just hate it when someone parks in your spot? Watch this video to see how one guy deals with that kind of situation.

A Happy Return

happiness
peacefulness
good cheer
serenity
bliss
joyfulness
my laptop returned to usefulness
after 5 months of dormancy
elation
contentment
exuberance
gladness

Turning 18

As of exactly one week ago, we now have a new adult in our home. That's right, Bethany turned 18. She allowed Spike the Wave to interview her (transcript below) about this milestone in her life.

STW: Congratulations on turning 18.
Bethany: What? (removes earbuds)
STW: I said, congratulations on turning 18.
Bethany: Oh, thanks!
STW: Do you feel more mature now, since the government would now consider you to be an adult?
Bethany: It's funny you should ask, as I was thinking about that earlier this morning.
STW: Really? In what way?
Bethany: Well, just how it's neat that since I'm now 18, I've magically suddenly become mature enough to do things I wasn't capable of doing as recently as the day before my birthday.
STW: Fascinating! Do you have an example or two?
Bethany: Sure. The first one is that, since the day I turned 18, I'm now capable of waiting tables at the restaurant I work at. I wasn't capable of doing that when I was only 17 and 364 days old.
STW: Ah. Anything else?
Bethany: When driving, I'm now able to have my younger brothers ride along without my parents having to be there.
STW: Are you getting enough oxygen?
Bethany: Um, yeah, I think so.
STW: Well, thanks for stopping by!

Avoid Fifth Third Bank

Are you thinking of opening an account at Fifth Third Bank? If so, I'd recommend you go elsewhere for your banking needs. If you open an account with Fifth Third Bank, you will regret it. There are many other banks and credit unions out there. Give one of them your business. Do not give your business to Fifth Third Bank.

Just some friendly advice based on lessons learned the hard way.

Why Hunt Squirrels?

Why hunt squirrels?

Squirrels are cute, small, furry and funny! Aren't they?

A local TV station's web site recently ran a story on their web site about squirrel hunting in Michigan. According to squirrel hunters, squirrels are tastier than chicken and beef. Hmmm... beef...

So, according to that story, there's at least one good reason to hunt squirrels. Them things is tasty!

Ah, gentle reader, there are however more important reasons to hunt these little creatures.

Alert readers of this blog have sent me undeniable photographic evidence, found on various web sites on the Internet, of what squirrels around the country are planning. And, as we all know, if it's on a web site, it must be true.

Here, for your review, is the photographic evidence of the planned squirrel insurrection. Warn your friends!

Squirrel commando.










Squirrel on guard duty.










Squirrel soldier targeting an enemy vehicle.








Jedi squirrels.

Smiley Face Emoticon Turns 25

Yesterday, September 19th, 2007, the humble electronic smiley face :-) turned 25.

It all began at 11:44 AM on September 19, 1982, when Scott E. Fahlman posted the first emoticon, the smiley face, to an online electronic bulletin board.

From an Associated Press article:

Fahlman posted the emoticon in a message to an online electronic bulletin board at 11:44 a.m. on Sept. 19, 1982, during a discussion about the limits of online humor and how to denote comments meant to be taken lightly.

Imagine, if you will, a world without :) :( :O :P ;) :D and all the other emoticons. I for one shudder in horror at such a thought.

Since you undoubtedly crave more information about the smiley face emoticon, check out the links below. Enjoy!

:-)

Carnegie Mellon University's smiley page:
http://www.cs.cmu.edu/smiley/

Scott Fahlman's official story of the smiley's origin:
http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~sef/sefSmiley.htm

Arrr!

Ahoy, me mateys! September 19th be International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

In honor of that day, I provide fer ye a picture of the most famous pirate of all time, Long John Silver (aka John Newton, pictured) from the Disney documentary Treasure Island.

As is my habit, I forgot all about this most illustrious of holidays until after it was over. But this year, I've only missed it by one day. Arrr!

I also provide fer ye a wee little pirate game called Sea Pirates - A Flash Game of Piracy (screenshot below). Here's a good description of the game from Webware:

If you've ever played Zelda, you'll know the importance of sailing a ship around while trying to avoid oceanic peril. This game involves pillaging local islands at whim. It's up to you and the wind to make your way through the ocean while staying alive. You get bonus points for boarding enemy pirate ships and digging up buried treasure, too.

Interested in learnin' more about pirates, are ye? Then read the classic history book, Treasure Island, written by famed writer Robert Louis Stevenson.

Arrrrgh!

65 Year Old Crybaby

One of the most difficult situations for any person to deal with is a baby crying, shrieking, screaming, hitting, thrashing, kicking and stomping, all because life didn't go the way he wanted.

Sure, that situation is, at best, annoying when it happens. But it is understandable that a baby would throw a temper tantrum when he doesn't get what he wants because, well, he's a baby after all.

But what about when that baby is 65 years old?

What follows is a true story.

Last Saturday my wife and I were at a local Wendy's restaurant, waiting for our just-ordered meals. I got the baconator. Mmmm... bacony...

Anyway, a "gentleman" (who most certainly was not gentle) standing at the other cash register, well... below is a dialog reconstructed with the help of eyewitnesses (my wife and I):

cash register lady: I'm sorry, sir, but we're all out of potatoes. (he'd ordered a salad and a baked potato)

65 year-old baby: What?!?!?! This is the second Wendy's restaurant I've been to this evening, because the other one was out of potatoes, too! What kind of idiots run this place!!!

cash register lady: I'm sorry, sir. We won't have more potatoes until tomorrow. Would you like to order something else?

65 year-old baby: NO!

The man then stomped, literally, away from the cash register toward the doors to leave the building. He soon returned, still stomping.

65 year-old baby: Give me back my money! Rowr!

cash register lady: Of course, sir. I was already getting it from the cash register when you left. (she really was)

65 year-old baby: Give it to me now!!! Rowr! Rowr! (at this point, a burst of flame shot from his mouth, and foam was drooling down his face)

cash register lady: Here's your money, sir.

65 year-old baby: Something incomprehensible as he left again. I think his voice was partially blocked by all the foam.

I always enjoy dinner with a show. Don't you?

For ideas on how to deal with a child throwing a temper tantrum, check out Tantrums! Screams! And Crying! Oh My! at familes.com. For help dealing with a "grown up" crybaby, try a boot to the head, anime style.

Using the Spell Chequer to Czech My Spelling

I found the following little poem on the Internet.

I have a spelling chequer..
It came with my PC.
It plane lea marx four my revue,
Miss steaks eye ken knot sea.
I've run this poem threw it,
And Yule bee pleased two no,
Its let her prefect in its weigh,
My chequer tolled me sew.

by Gwyneth Congdon (polsci 92, 1999)

For the record, Blogger's spell checker only flagged "marx" as being misspelled.

found at a web page called Common Mistakes That Spell Checker Overlooks

Guess Who Turns 40 This Year!

Yep, you guessed correctly! The world famous McDonald's Big Mac. Yum! It was invented in 1967 in Pennsylvania, and the rest is history.

Do you remember the first time you had a Big Mac? I do, too! My parents finally let me order a Big Mac, big people food. I didn't feel like a little kid any more.

My next Big Mac memory was the first time, when I was in high school in Pennsylvania, when I ordered two Big Macs for myself. For one meal!

Ah. There are no memories quite like Big Mac memories.

Read The Big Mac Hits 40 article at WZZM's web site.

End of Summer

Summer unofficially ended last weekend when it was cold enough outside that the 13 year-old (we'll call him Billy, though his real name is Tim) was complaining about being cold. While sitting right in front of a window. Through which blew a strong cold breeze. Did I mention he was sitting right in front of the window? Anyway...

Not to be quickly taken out of the picture, Summer return midway during the week, preceeded by several days of nearly continuous rainfall. When the rains stopped, the heat & humidity both rose as Summer laughed, "Ha ha! You can't get rid of me that easily, foolish mortals!"

Today, and the next several days, are likely to be somewhat rainy and cool again. And the Coming of the Rains usually signifies the End of Summer anyway. So beautful Autumn is just around the corner.

Train Roller Coaster

Some fast-acting engineering students in Norway finishing constructing their train roller coaster just in time.

Our Internet Connection Has Been Repaired

Like most people having broadband Internet access through cable or DSL, we experience an occasional Internet connection outage. For the last few weeks, though, we've been experiencing connection outages nearly every day... some days we effectively had no access that entire day.

So I called the cable company a few days ago, and they scheduled a repairman to come out on Friday morning, sometime between 8 AM and noon. I called back an hour later to request a tighter time frame, 8 AM to 10 AM, but was told, "Uhhhh... We don't have any technicians available until the 1 PM - 5 PM timeframe Friday afternoon." So I agreed to that timeframe, deciding I would just leave work at noon that day. When I got home from work on Friday, there was a message from the cable company on our voice mail: "Hey, we're just confirming that our repairman will be coming to your home sometime between 1 PM and 5 PM on Saturday." Yep, Saturday, not Friday.

The cable guy actually showed up on Saturday afternoon, spent an hour and a half here, and corrected our cable Internet access. Yay! Now I can get back to work on my really important Internet-related activities, like watching hamsters dance!

We Need to Shut Down the Internet for Five Years

According to a news report, Sir Elton John wants the Internet shut down for 5 years in order to save music, because the Internet, and especially blogging, is destroying people's musical creativity.

In related news, next week the Computer Alarmists Research Institute is expected to announce results of their research indicating that blogging is a significant cause of global warming. It seems that all those computers running just for people to type and post their thoughts online generates a significant amount of heat. Go figure!

Blogging - The #1 cause of the world's problems.

update - Did you do a web search on the Computer Alarmists Research Institute? Heh.

Six Months Without Hairspray

I never thought I could live without hairspray. But I have now for six months. I never used that much hairspray, anyway... Just enough to keep a few of the rebel hair strands from standing up straight or doing other things that bugged me. And I only used it in the morning, usually just before leaving home for the day.

Six months ago I ran out, and at the time wasn't able to buy a replacement. For years I'd used Consort's non-aerosol hairspray. I strongly prefer non-aerosols to aerosols. Plus, Consort's line of men's haircare products doesn't smell like women's perfume. I don't know about you, but I prefer my hair NOT smell like women's perfume. For some reason.

Anyway, I ran out of hairspray and didn't have any more. So I decided I would try living without hairspray. I didn't think it would be possible. But now it's six months later, and I've survived.

Would I ever resume using hairspray? I don't know. If you had gotten used to not using hairspray, would you go back? These are the kinds of questions that keep philosophers up awake at night.

Milkshakes on a Hot Summer Evening

Monday evening it was hot & humid, with the outdoor temperature again hitting the low 90's. But unlike Sunday, when we had delightful breezes blowing off Lake Michigan all day, the outdoor air was as still as the grave. Ugh! I think I lost a quart of fluid during my first 30 minutes home after work! Not fun! And it made me use lots of exclamation points, too!!! I ran the air conditioner for a few hours, which helped immensely, especially after I closed the windows.

Later in the evening I was looking around in the frig for something cold to drink, and realized we had a lot of milk. Which got me thinking... maybe I could make some milkshakes!

Here's my recipe for homemade milkshakes Dave-shakes. They're yummy!

• pour some milk into a blender
• toss in a bunch of ice
• dump in a bunch of sugar
• sprinkle in some ground cinnamon
• add just a dribble of vanilla extract
• cover & blend

Mmm... Tasty!

Home Alone

Our youngest boy, Tim, is spending part of each day this week home alone. Yesterday was his first day, with him home by himself for a few hours between when his mom left for work and his older brother arrived home.









As I drove home from work Monday, knowing that Tim had spent part of the day by himself, I kept inexplicably thinking of a certain song by Talking Heads.






burning house photo credit information
U.S. Department of the Interior, U.S. Geological Survey, Menlo Park, California, USA
http://hvo.wr.usgs.gov/gallery/kilauea/erupt/24ds331_caption.html

Life Without Coffee

zzzz....

*snort*

What? Oh, sorry!

I've been having trouble focusing and staying alert this week. My supply of coffee ran out at home on Monday morning, and even on Monday I only had enough coffee to make two cups. Which I converted into Dave-uccino to stretch it out. M'm! M'm! Good!

But that was Monday morning.

Tuesday was just a foggy caffeine-free day. Absolutely dreadful.

Wednesday was a slighty less foggy caffeine-free day as my body adjusted to the lack of its favorite alkaloid.

Thursday my body was starting to get used to functioning without coffee.

Then my lovely wife discovered I'd run out of coffee and bought a canister for me. She is awesome!

Now it's Friday, and I have coffee.

Ah! Life is good.

What's Dave-uccino, you ask? Simple! It's my own special version of homemade iced cappuccino, kind of like a Frappuccino made with French Roast coffee.

TJ Is Gone

The oldest of our four cats, TJ, past away during the night. A few weeks ago, one of the boys said he thought she was losing weight, but we figured he was just seeing things. Especially since the kitten was now nearly as large as TJ. It seems his instincts may have been correct. During the past few days, it'd become quite obvious that TJ was not well, as she seemed unable to do anything other than lie very still. Especially yesterday.

TJ was a good cat. She was the mom of two of our other cats, Blackie and Chubby. She was quite adept at slipping through open doors, dashing to the freedom of the outdoors, which especially beckoned to her during this time of year. Once outdoors, rodents and small birds fled in terror, knowing that the mighty huntress was on the prowl.

TJ's favorite toy was elastic hairbands, the kind that have 2" or 3" diameter. She'd "acquire" one from someone's bedroom and then run through the house with the hairband hanging from her mouth and her yelling "rowr! rowr! rowr!". At least until she realized she'd been seen. Then she would drop the hairband to the floor and just walk away, as if thinking, "I don't know where that hairband came from! Eh heh. (I'm so embarrassed)"

One bit of silly behavior of hers stands out in my memory. Our family room's windows have top panes that can slide down, as well as the bottom panes being able to slide up. Sometimes I open just the top pane, especially when it's windy outside, to direct incoming air toward the ceiling. One night a few weeks ago I'd done just that. When I came downstairs in the morning, there was TJ, sitting INSIDE the window between the closed bottom pane and the exterior screen. Yep... during the night she'd jumped up to the top of the opening, and then either jumped or fallen down, and then realized she was trapped. Silly cat. :)

Disconnected

This morning my family and I faced one of the greatest trials an early 21st century midwestern family can face... an Internet service outage. AHHHHHH!

I sometimes forget how dependent I am on the Internet, or more specifically the World Web Web, aka The Information Superhighway. No reading or writing e-mail. No checking weather forecasts. No checking the business hours for the local bank branch. No Xbox Live. (Well, actually I don't care about that one, but my boys do.) No nuthin. :( It's like when a thunderstorm knocks out electricity service for a few hours... what do you do with your time then? Talk to family members? Yeah, like that'll happen. :)

Internet access has been restored! Huzzah! Our access came back to life while I was on the phone, for the second time today, with our ISP's customer support. How convenient.

Our Kitten Is Trying To Kill Me

A few days ago, I was doing one of those things you always tell your kids not to do, but do yourself when no one's around... running through the house. I was getting ready to leave for work, and felt a need to move quickly from one end of our main floor to the other.

Unfortunately for me, our kitten Georgie decided that would be the ideal time to run at full speed up the stairs from our lower level to the main level, his path directly intersecting my own as we both ran, well for me "ran", through the house. He got caught up in my feet and spun a little off-course, while I tripped and almost fell, though didn't actually fall.

Later when I recounted this incident to another family member, her first comment was, "Is Georgie okay?" I could've broken my nose like Paula Abdul, but people are concerned about the kitten!!!

Lessons Learned

me: Don't run through the house when the kitten is in one of his hyperactive modes.

Georgie: meow! meow! meow! (loosely translated: "Where's my food, I'm hungry again!")

FHOTY

A few weeks ago, my lovely wife and I observed FHOTY (pronounced "faugh-tee", like "faulty" but more fun). What's FHOTY you ask? Well, kind reader, you've no doubt already deduced that it is an acronym, given the presence of many capital letters. If that is your deduction, you are correct. It IS an acronym! Congratulations!

FHOTY stands for "first hummingbird of the year".

My wife adores hummingbirds. A few weeks ago, we observed the first hummingbird of the year visiting one of our hummingbird traps feeders. It drank a little "nectar", squeaked "hello" to us, then flew on its way.

Have you experienced FHOTY yet?

Death of a Laptop Power Supply

This week my laptop's power supply finally died. It had been dying for quite some time now, as evidenced by the pictures below, but now it is dead. No fun little sparks jumping the gaps between bare copper wires. No power indicator lights. Nothing.

Here's a picture of the power cable going into the power supply. Notice the copper!



Here's a picture of the power cable coming out of the power supply. Notice the shiny wires!



And, lastly, a picture of the laptop. Without power. Dark and silent.

Cooler Piña Colada Gum

Some time ago while shopping at a local store, I noticed a new gum flavor called cooler piña colada. Like any other Michigander (whatever that is), I wondered how piña colada flavor would taste when it has a hint of mint. The verdict from my adoring wife? "Please don't buy that again."

So there you go folks. Stay away from cooler piña colada gum if you value your marriage!

This post was adapted from a "The Dave Report" excerpt originally written in 2005.

5 Years

5 years ago she-who-became-my-wife and I married. Happy 5th anniversary, baby!

Sanjaya, We Hardly Knew Ye

Last night marked a sad event, the elimination of Sanjaya Malakar from American Idol season 6. In honor of his time spent as a contestant on the show, which, to be honest, is longer than I would have lasted, I present the ponyhawk.

Okay, I'm not sure which of these two pictures is actually of Sanjaya. They both are of ponyhawks. Hmmm... Perhaps one of my alert readers would be able to enlighten me.

Well, Sanjaya, whoever you are, you will be missed, buddy! And don't worry about what Simon might think. You keep doing your ponyhawk thing! And even though the judges thought you stayed too long, just remember that week when it all clicked. There will always be someone believing in you.

Google Maps Encourages Swimming

Try this:

1. go to www.google.com
2. click on "maps"
3. click on "get directions"
4. type "New York" in the first box (the "from" box)
5. type "London" in the second box (the "to" box)
6. click on "get directions"
7. scroll down to step #23

Or just click this link.

If you don't want to do all that, step #23 says, "swim across the Atlantic Ocean 3462 miles". Google Maps expects that step to take you 29 days to complete. Be sure to pack a lunch. :)

Sometimes I Chase My Tail

a blog post by Georgie (our orange kitten)

HI! My name is Georgie! I'm really happy to meet you!

I'm still a kitten, so I'm very excitable and energetic. That's why I use lots of exclamation points!

I joined Dave's family over a month ago. They are so awesome! I've trained them to put some yummy food on the floor every time I whine. It's yummy! Hehe, I meant the food, not the floor. Anyway, I used to be really tiny. But I've been getting bigger! YAY!!! But I'm still not as big as my buddy Chubbie. He's a grey cat, and the only other boy cat here. Wait... Dave just told me Chubbie's kind of not a boy anymore, and that soon I won't be one either. Mmmm... I don't really know what that means. But I really like kitten food! It's awesome!!! ROWR!

You know what I sometimes like to do? Chase my tail! Have you ever chased your tail? Oh, wait... Dave just told me that you big not-cat creatures don't have tails. Anyway... Sometimes I chase my tail!

Just the other night, I ran into the computer room to see what Dave was up to. Then I saw a recliner. So I climbed up it! Once I was on it and sat down to look around the room, I saw this orangey pointy thing laying near me. So I jumped at it! And it moved! So I had to chase it!!! But every time I ran closer to it, it moved away! A couple of times I got it and bit it a little, which hurt a little for some reason. Then, I realized I was biting my own tail! But that's okay, because it's so much fun chasing it!

Well, I gotta go be in a different room now. Bye! It was fun talking to all of you!

White Easter

We did not have a White Thanksgiving in November, 2006.
We did not have a White Christmas in December, 2006. (I was bummed!)
We did not even have a White New Years Day in January, 2007.
But, yes, we did indeed have a White Easter in April, 2007.

All our accumulated snow had disappeared during March. But winter briefly returned last week. On the morning of Good Friday (April 06), 2007, there were 3 - 4 inches of beautiful white snow greeting us. And the weather remained could enough that the snow was still there on Easter Sunday.

Ah. Snow. How I'd missed you. And now you've returned for one last glimpse of your beauty before the full onslaught of spring begins.

Quote of the Day - Water Glasses

"To an optimist the glass is half full.
To a pessimist the glass is half empty.
To a programmer the glass is twice as big as it needs to be."

Discuss amongst yourselves.

Creator of FORTRAN Died 03/17/07

This posting will be a break from the usual silliness and semi-seriousness.

John Backus, the creator of the FORTRAN computer programming language, died Saturday, 3/17/07, at the age of 82.

FORTRAN was the first widely-used high-level programming language (i.e. normal people could read & understand the source code), invented in the 1950's by John Backus and his team at IBM, and has been in continuous use ever since. The language is well-suited for scientific and engineering computer applications like computational chemistry or climate modeling, or applications involving complex numbers.

When I was in college I took two or three semesters for FORTRAN. Out in the real world I've mainly used COBOL, but then I've mainly worked in the business world where COBOL is used extensively.

Here's the obituary article at the New York Times. A different (permanent) link to the same article.

I Can See Our Yard

An amazing thing happened this week. I could see our yard!

You see, since early this year when the snows first came, our yard had effectively disappeared under a layer of ice and snow. And pine needles. Due to the warm weather we've had this week, it's pretty much all gone. Including the massive snow & ice pile that had been at one corner of our driveway (built for us by our friendly neighbor snow plow trucks). And with the vernal equinox coming soon, I don't think we'll get much more snow. But I hope we do. I like snow. And winter, the best season of them all.

The Arrival of Georgie

About a month ago we added a new creature to our family, Georgie, to orange cat. This is a picture of him sleeping. Isn't he cute!

"Meow!"

Um, the cat just said "hello".

We now have four cats, three adults (Blackie, TJ and Chubbie) and the kitten. Chubbie, the only adult "male" cat, has gotten a long really well with Georgie. When the kitten is in one of his active periods, we'll often find the two of them wrestling.

Backyard Lake

We have backyard lake now!

To the right ( --> ) is a photo of our backyard lake. Our backyard turns into a lake a few times every spring, and a few times every autumn.

Don't you wish you had a backyard lake?

Most of the year, we actually have a peninsula that'd been carved out by a creek. In this photo, taken today, the creek is about 1.5 - 2 feet above its normal level. It's so high because we've had a bit of warm weather (it got up to 52 today!) that's melting all our snow.

Blizzard of 2007

Winter finally arrived in a big way on February 3rd with a blizzard. The weather did an excellent job of basically shutting down the region. You know the weather is bad when the state police have TV stations flash the following message, "Please, oh please, just stay in your homes." Our high temperature that weekend on our front pourch was 8 degrees Fahrenheit with a windcill of probably -15. Brrr! We didn't actually receive that much snow, but it was very windy.

I Got Me Some Mega Hertz

Have you ever wondered about the actual meanings of various computer technology terms? If so, then today is your lucky day, my friend. For today, just for you, Spike the Wave presents Technology for Country Folk. Click on the image to see the full version and learn the true definition of such computer technology words as "monitor", "RAM", "software" and "reboot". Enjoy!

disclaimer: The image is not my original work. Should I ever learn the name of the image's creator, I will post appropriate credit.

Frustration Buying A New Computer

Have you ever wanted to buy a computer but, frankly, were a little confused by all the various options? If so, perhaps you can sympathize with Lou Costello as he tries to buy a computer from Bud Abbott.

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business.? What do you have?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal.? What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers? What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to tr ack my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on "START"...........

To learn more about Abbott & Costello, check out their official web site, their entry in Wikipedia, or read a transcript of their Who's On First comedy routine.

disclaimer: This homage to Abbott and Costello is not my original work. Should I ever learn the name of the actual author, I will post appropriate credit.

Portrait

People keep asking to see a picture of me on my blog here. I couldn't find one, so this will have to do until I can find the camera.

Update

My wife thought I should point out that, in fact, no one has actually asked to see a picture of me posted here (or anywhere else). So, my secret identity continues to be safe.

Having Fun With the PSP

I was given a Sony PSP (PlayStation Portable) for Christmas. Yay! It's been a lot of fun so far.

Normal people use a PSP to:

• play video games desgined to run on PSP, and/or
• watch movies designed to play only on PSP (using special discs).

I'm not normal.

Please stop laughing.

Since I know you're wondering what things I do with my PSP, here's a list:

• copied my mini-intranet web site (mainly just a collection of organized bookmarks)
• added to that a web page that runs a little javascript keyboard for PSP (can sometimes be easier to use than the PSP's own keyboard app, which is only fun to use if you like typing text messages on cell phones)
• decided that the PSP's web browser doesn't implement javascript and CSS very well, and really needs a way to use memory stick storage to augment main memory
• downloaded demo versions of some games; played them for about 2 minutes so far
• loaded with various mp3 files
• practiced converting video files into one of the two video formats the PSP will play (side note: the PSP can play many different music file formats, and display many different image file formats, but it can play just two video file formats)
• used as portable storage (Windows and Linux see it as being just another USB file storage device)
• discovered that it really doesn't like playing flash videos, so no Homestar Runner (can only do this in its web browser mode, and there it just runs out of memory too quickly)

Still have not played a regular (non-demo) video game or watched a movie disc.

The next thing I want to try with it is running VNC. If I can get that to work, then I could use the PSP to control another, regular, computer. Now that would be cool!

First Snow 2007

We finally got some snow a few days ago! And it's actually cold enough outside for the snow to stick around!! And I'm using a lot of exclamation points!!!!!!

Winter has finally arrived in West Michigan. Huzzah!

Cry of the Hunter

We were sitting in our family room watching TV when we heard the cry of the hunter:

"Rowr! Rowr! Rowr!"

I looked around for the source.

Then I found it.

TJ, our home's head cat, had pounced on and caught an errant hair band, her prey. TJ saw me looking at her and cried out, "Rowr?", and ran off, freeing the hair band.

I walked out to the hallway to pick up the hairband. As I lifted it, I thought I might have heard a small tiny voice saying, "Help me!" . But, I'm pretty sure it was just my hallucination imagination.