My Vehicle Hates Me

Well, gentle reader, it finally happened. My vehicle's exhaust pipe completely detached itself from the undecarriage, dragging itself along the ground. The exhaust pipe, not the undercarriage, as that would be silly. The best part is that it is the front end of the exhaust pipe that is dragging on the ground.

Remembering that an RV owner had once been fined for starting a forest fire due to a dragging exhaust pipe, I decided to call for a tow truck. Whereupon I discovered that a cell phone doesn't work very well when you are standing directly underneath 5 - 7 power lines.

By the way... Yes, that's a picture of me driving my SUV, pre-problems, off-road in some desert. It was a lot of fun! (Editor's note: No, that is not David.)

On the plus side, I got a lot of great exercise walking to where I could get a good enough cell phone signal to call for a tow truck. But, as I'd already mentioned, that was also when I discovered the deal with cell phones and power lines.

So remember, kids... if you ever need to use your cell phone, don't bother if you're standing directly underneath a bunch of power lines. Just walk across the street to where there aren't power lines, rather than half a mile down that road but still under the power lines. Staying under the power lines does not help, no matter how far you walk.

And knowing is half the battle. G.I. Joe!

Earth Hour

How did you celebrate Earth Hour?

What's "Earth Hour", you ask?

Well, gentle reader, according to Google Earth Hour is an effort to encourage people around the world to turn off their lights for one hour, 8 PM to 9 PM, on March 29th, 2008, and to think about ways to protect the environment, do something about global warming, conserve energy, remember how to light a candle, and save puppies. Or something like that. It began in 2007 in Sydney, Australia. But this year, it's global.

It again began in Sydney, with some residents carrying black balloons. When the clock struck 9 PM there and residents again turned on their lights and could again see where they were walking, the city celebrated by setting off fireworks. Lots of fireworks. Good thing that fireworks don't release any pollutants into the atmosphere, or residue on the ground.

In all seriousness, here at Spike the Wave we do believe that conserving energy is a good thing to do. Always have. We just don't like feeling coerced into doing something just because all the sheep are doing it. Especially when the "conservation" activity seems rather pointless. Kind of like protesting high gasoline prices by not buying any fuel. For one day.

We celebrated Earth Hour by turning on every light in the house, including the flood lamps out back. Our power meter spun so fast it nearly came out of its casing.

Later on the evening news, there was a report about the International Space Station seeing a really bright light near the eastern shore of Lake Michigan around 8 PM EDT. I'm sure it was just a coincident.

By the way, Google itself celebrated Earth Hour by turning its main search web page black (from it's usual white). Though, ironically, doing so may actually cause some people's computer monitors to use more power. Ah, sweet irony. Click the image to see the larger version, and watch your power usage soar. Yee hah!

Slip and Slide

(Editor's note: What follows is a true story, as reported to Spike the Wave.)

When I was a little kid growing up in a non-rural area of Florida (officially called the Florida Suncoast), one hot humid summer (which is really what ALL summers in Florida are like) I played on something called Slip 'n Slide. It was a lot of fun to run then intentionally slip and slide on the watery, slippery plastic sheet.

Not long ago, I participated in a grown-up version of Slip 'n Slide.

I was driving to work, as I do on most weekday mornings. The roads were rather slippery that morning, as ice had formed during the night. And I had already slid one or two times, but no big deal.

While driving on a back road through Allendale, I realized, "Hey, that vehicle in front me isn't slowing down... It's already stopped."

Due to reasons I'll not bore you with, it's often a little difficult to slow down with my vehicle, a Mazda Tribute SUV. (Note: I'll never buy another Mazda for reasons unrelated to this little story.) Especially when the roads are icy. As they were this particular morning.

Quickly, I realized that it would not be possible for me to come to a complete stop before impact. However, I noticed that there was a little bit, a tiny bit, of space between the right side of the vehicle in front of me, and the snow bank.

I activated my vehicle's stunt driver mode and aimed the SUV for that small amount of space. I missed the stopped vehicle with room to spare (maybe two whole inches!) as I glided past it on its right side.

Then I saw it. The telephone pole (immovable object) about to be impacted by my vehicle (irresistible force). Yes, I hit that pole! And bounced off it like a pinball machine ball hitting one of those crazy bumpers. The SUV's back end swung 90 degrees clockwise right in front of that stopped vehicle. Boy, did it's two occupants look surprised!

I continued on my way and drove into a nearby park to check for damage. There was NO damage! Woo hoo!!! (Unlike the time I hit a deer...) And since my vehicle's air bag system currently isn't working, the air bag hadn't deployed either!

So, all in all, it was a good day.

Christmas Day 2007

Now that it's March, I decided it was a good time to write about Christmas Day 2007.

How was your Christmas Day? Did you receive any presents you liked? Awesome!

Here's how we spent our Christmas Day.

Since our youngest family member is a teen, my wife and I were the first ones up. We had a nice brunch, followed by The Opening of the Christmas Gifts, supper, and just relaxing. For supper, when we had our Christmas dinner, we feasted on:

• Christmas ham with Christmas pineapple rings
• Christmas green bean casserole with Christmas french onions
• Christmas pudding
• Christmas stuffing

The cats really got into the spirit of the day!

Blackie walked around randomly, slept, sometimes ran quickly for no apparent reason, and meowed.

Chubbie walked around randomly, slept, sometimes ran quickly for no apparent reason, and occassionally acted scared. (Chubbie doesn't "talk" very often.)

Georgie slept, purred, frequently ran quickly as if he were being chased by Dementors, and generally acted scared... unless he was sleepy, in which case he was not afraid anymore and just wanted to be petted (and would then purr when petted, of course).

The day before, Christmas Eve, we were visited by my wife's older daughters, along with the grandchildren. That was an enjoyable time for everyone.

We did have some snow on Christmas Day, though nothing like the crazy amounts of snow we received in January. And February. My goodness! We got a LOT of snow in February. Anywho... As long as there is some snow on the ground on Christmas Day, then all is well with the world.

Talking to a Teen

Have you ever experienced difficulty communicating with a teen? If so, then you just might relate to this video. Enjoy!