Avoid Fifth Third Bank

Are you thinking of opening an account at Fifth Third Bank? If so, I'd recommend you go elsewhere for your banking needs. If you open an account with Fifth Third Bank, you will regret it. There are many other banks and credit unions out there. Give one of them your business. Do not give your business to Fifth Third Bank.

Just some friendly advice based on lessons learned the hard way.

Why Hunt Squirrels?

Why hunt squirrels?

Squirrels are cute, small, furry and funny! Aren't they?

A local TV station's web site recently ran a story on their web site about squirrel hunting in Michigan. According to squirrel hunters, squirrels are tastier than chicken and beef. Hmmm... beef...

So, according to that story, there's at least one good reason to hunt squirrels. Them things is tasty!

Ah, gentle reader, there are however more important reasons to hunt these little creatures.

Alert readers of this blog have sent me undeniable photographic evidence, found on various web sites on the Internet, of what squirrels around the country are planning. And, as we all know, if it's on a web site, it must be true.

Here, for your review, is the photographic evidence of the planned squirrel insurrection. Warn your friends!

Squirrel commando.










Squirrel on guard duty.










Squirrel soldier targeting an enemy vehicle.








Jedi squirrels.

Smiley Face Emoticon Turns 25

Yesterday, September 19th, 2007, the humble electronic smiley face :-) turned 25.

It all began at 11:44 AM on September 19, 1982, when Scott E. Fahlman posted the first emoticon, the smiley face, to an online electronic bulletin board.

From an Associated Press article:

Fahlman posted the emoticon in a message to an online electronic bulletin board at 11:44 a.m. on Sept. 19, 1982, during a discussion about the limits of online humor and how to denote comments meant to be taken lightly.

Imagine, if you will, a world without :) :( :O :P ;) :D and all the other emoticons. I for one shudder in horror at such a thought.

Since you undoubtedly crave more information about the smiley face emoticon, check out the links below. Enjoy!

:-)

Carnegie Mellon University's smiley page:
http://www.cs.cmu.edu/smiley/

Scott Fahlman's official story of the smiley's origin:
http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~sef/sefSmiley.htm

Arrr!

Ahoy, me mateys! September 19th be International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

In honor of that day, I provide fer ye a picture of the most famous pirate of all time, Long John Silver (aka John Newton, pictured) from the Disney documentary Treasure Island.

As is my habit, I forgot all about this most illustrious of holidays until after it was over. But this year, I've only missed it by one day. Arrr!

I also provide fer ye a wee little pirate game called Sea Pirates - A Flash Game of Piracy (screenshot below). Here's a good description of the game from Webware:

If you've ever played Zelda, you'll know the importance of sailing a ship around while trying to avoid oceanic peril. This game involves pillaging local islands at whim. It's up to you and the wind to make your way through the ocean while staying alive. You get bonus points for boarding enemy pirate ships and digging up buried treasure, too.

Interested in learnin' more about pirates, are ye? Then read the classic history book, Treasure Island, written by famed writer Robert Louis Stevenson.

Arrrrgh!

65 Year Old Crybaby

One of the most difficult situations for any person to deal with is a baby crying, shrieking, screaming, hitting, thrashing, kicking and stomping, all because life didn't go the way he wanted.

Sure, that situation is, at best, annoying when it happens. But it is understandable that a baby would throw a temper tantrum when he doesn't get what he wants because, well, he's a baby after all.

But what about when that baby is 65 years old?

What follows is a true story.

Last Saturday my wife and I were at a local Wendy's restaurant, waiting for our just-ordered meals. I got the baconator. Mmmm... bacony...

Anyway, a "gentleman" (who most certainly was not gentle) standing at the other cash register, well... below is a dialog reconstructed with the help of eyewitnesses (my wife and I):

cash register lady: I'm sorry, sir, but we're all out of potatoes. (he'd ordered a salad and a baked potato)

65 year-old baby: What?!?!?! This is the second Wendy's restaurant I've been to this evening, because the other one was out of potatoes, too! What kind of idiots run this place!!!

cash register lady: I'm sorry, sir. We won't have more potatoes until tomorrow. Would you like to order something else?

65 year-old baby: NO!

The man then stomped, literally, away from the cash register toward the doors to leave the building. He soon returned, still stomping.

65 year-old baby: Give me back my money! Rowr!

cash register lady: Of course, sir. I was already getting it from the cash register when you left. (she really was)

65 year-old baby: Give it to me now!!! Rowr! Rowr! (at this point, a burst of flame shot from his mouth, and foam was drooling down his face)

cash register lady: Here's your money, sir.

65 year-old baby: Something incomprehensible as he left again. I think his voice was partially blocked by all the foam.

I always enjoy dinner with a show. Don't you?

For ideas on how to deal with a child throwing a temper tantrum, check out Tantrums! Screams! And Crying! Oh My! at familes.com. For help dealing with a "grown up" crybaby, try a boot to the head, anime style.